"I knew one day you would show yourself,
and I smiled at the light ahead."
–Dirty Sweet Poetry
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"Fall for her insanity.
Her passion will reward you."
– Dirty Sweet Poetry
Looking back I remember winning a Young Authors award in 3rd grade. I completely forgot about that and only started writing again around 7th grade in diaries when my family life became pretty unstable. I don't recall many of the writings except one about screaming on the inside. I think I've always had a lot to get out, but wasn't aware of healthy coping skills, like writing, until 2014 when I asked for a divorce. We have two small children together and I couldn't go to 'bad' places in my head like in the old days. Having suffered from severe depression and anxiety my whole life...I knew I couldn't go down that road as a mother. My brother told me about the art and creativity of Instagram and I was drawn to the beautiful words again. I just found a typewriter app and open it when I feel like I need to get words out. I don't overthink. I don't do it for anyone else but myself...however people started liking it. They told me of how they related to my openness and vulnerability. My moods change all day long so anyone can find something to relate to.
My ex is a great friend, my family, and a wonderful dad. We had a wonderful journey that gave us our kids...but now I search for a different love. My words have no muse. I take bits of things here and there, and use my imagination. I hope to one day say “I'm taken” and have my thoughts of passion and sex and love be non-fiction. Until then, it's a bit dirty, a bit sweet, and a whole lot of honesty.